Bliss Union Attunement

This attunement was inspired by several things. First was a video of two friends extolling the use of an herb as a path of spiritual transcendence. The second was the awareness that the more people who hold divine light, the gentler the path of evolution during these times of mass spiritual awakening. The third thing was a conversing with a spiritually oriented friend while sharing the energies of bliss. These three things happening around the same deepened my awareness about the hunger and longing of so many people for transcendence through joyful, blissful experience and the need for more people to have access to it.

Opening to expanded states of awareness and bliss comes very naturally to me and sharing it with others through dance, lovemaking, and other methods of energy transmission is my favorite thing to do. I decided to create this attunement to assist you in your experience of transcended through bliss, and to share the bliss overflowing inside me. I also decided to set this attunement up so that each person who uses it, each time they use it, increases exponentially the opportunity for transcendence and bliss for all who attune, and for all beings who are open to it. The more you use it and the more people you share it with, the greater the light we all can carry and the more loving the experience for all.

Attunement is the process of tuning in. This Bliss Union Attunement helps you tune into your own state of spiritual transcendence through a blissful energy transmission I send to each and every person who tunes in. The transmission itself does not require words. You receive it when you follow the instructions to tune in. This document is simply information and instructions. Please do not ask me to send you the attunement or transmission, you receive it every time you read this document and follow the instructions. Instructions: relax, close your eyes and intend to receive the attunement in accordance with your highest good. Allow a few minutes for the experience to unfold and integrate before resuming other activities. 

Please note: feeling bliss through energy transmission can often require a certain level of openness and a quiet mind. Not everyone who experiences this transmission will feel the bliss and some many experience it sometimes but not always, however, consistent daily use of this attunement will increase the likelihood that you will feel the bliss while tuning in.  If you do not feel it at all while attuning, the transmission will still be working to assist you in opening to bliss and transcendence in your daily life, which is the primary intention of this attunement. Feeling bliss while attuning is nice but it is secondary to the empowerment of living a transcendent blissful life.

This attunement, my energetic assistance when you tune in, will be available for one month (30 days) from the date you first use it. You can begin using the attunement now or at any time you desire, however, it will work for only one 30 day period for each person who uses it. You may use it viewed on the computer or printed. Each person who attunes receives their own individualized assistance, which is always current to where they are on their spiritual path are at the time of using the attunement. This attunement was designed to always be current, to be in alignment with the ever shifting and evolving energies supporting our planetary awaking and beyond. It will never be out of date; even in 5D consciousness there is still evolution.

I hope you will try this attunement and share it with others. As some of you reading this may know, I have been creating attunements like this for many years with a lot of positive response from people who have enjoyed and benefited from attuning. However, because this attunement uses an exponential magnifier, it is intended as a tool for a big planetary shift for humanity as a whole as well as for each person who attunes. The more people who attune, the greater the shift and the greater the magnification of the results each time. It is a great opportunity made even better by sharing. All I ask is that you include my name and website when you share this with others. If you have any questions about the attunement or how to use it, please contact me at somaticdakini@gmail.com

I welcome feedback about your attunement experience and/or how it has helped you open to transcendence and bliss.

Thank you for the opportunity to share this attunement with you.

Linda White Dove

http://www.lindawhitedove.com

A few weeks ago I was talking with a friend. She had reached out to several people who were not receptive and now she felt hurt and angry. When I first moved to the area in which I now live, I brought with me a lot of fear baggage, of which I was unaware. I had a lot of issues around inclusion, intimacy, community and trust, which became part of my interactions. As a result I alienated many people. I live in a small town environment and everyone knows everyone else. My first few years here were very painful.

Then something interesting happened. I started saying and doing things that were totally out of character for me, hurtful things I would not consciously choose to say or do. I did not plan to say or do these things; I was shocked as the words came out of my mouth and uncomfortable with my own actions. It was as if I had no control, no time to consider before I acted or spoke. Feeling out of control like this was scary and painful to me. The way it hurt others was also scary and painful. I am a very loving, sensitive person. Hurting others hurts me.

I spent several years in this pattern of behavior. I thought about the things I said and did, over and over and over and over, being hard on myself, wondering if and how I could make it all better. An example: one sunny afternoon I was sitting on a bench in a park near where I live. Someone I knew (although not very well) and liked walked into the park. He saw me and I waved and smiled at him. I was happy to see him and hoping he would join me. He started walking in my direction until he was right in front of the bench. All of a sudden my shyness and awkwardness got so strong I could not handle it. I looked away, totally ignoring him. I could not acknowledge his presence. It was like I had invited him to join me and then shunned him. He walked away. I felt terrible for hurting him and was hard on myself for not being able to connect with him the way I wanted. I did not understand why I responded the way I did.

After many years of this type of behavior, I realized why it happened. Because I was unconscious of just how much fear I was carrying around, and because I needed to be aware so I could work it through, the fear came out in increasingly escalating, jarring ways until I paid attention. Once I realized this, and started working on it, I felt much better. I also realized how much my fear and fear behavior supported me in learning and growing. Even when things were painful and difficult, I was being loved and given everything I needed for things to be better.

This whole experience drove home another important lesson. Each time I acted from fear, the underlying desire was not to hurt anyone, it was to love and be loved. The more I wanted to love and be loved, the more afraid I was of opening myself up and getting hurt, which resulted in my keeping people away. I also realized that all the people around me also wanted to love and be loved and I noticed how their fears of getting hurt played out in their interactions. It happens in many different ways, but it is all fear, and underneath it all is love.

Understanding and embodying this awareness is moving me from the desire to love and be loved, to being love itself. I still seek connection and communion with others, but it is different now. I have more compassion for myself and for others and am not as hurt when someone does not respond to me the way I hoped. Although I still respond to others from fear sometimes, actually more than I would like, I can see that it is just fear and I can be okay with my fear rather than being as hard on myself as I was in the past. And although it still hurts if others do not respond to me the way I would like, I can sense their fear and no longer take it as personally. I can also sense their love essence and I can love them for who they are, even if it is from a distance when that is the best choice. Experiencing the love beyond the fear, I can sense beyond the immediacy of a situation and place it in its larger context. We are all learning and growing. It is beautiful.

Linda White Dove

http://www.lindawhitedove.com

As I have been editing my book manuscript, I have removed a lot of material due to it being redundant, off topic, or otherwise not a good fit. A lot of what I removed is still useful and, I believe, worthy of sharing with you here. Please pardon any formatting inconsistencies and grammatical errors, this material is in rough, unedited form.

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To live in oneness and experience physical health means living in awareness and utilization of the relational nature of the field. It is not having all the answers about how things work, but rather understanding how to live in harmony; in right relationship with yourself and the larger context of life. Your body understands this because it is a system. The systemic, relational nature of your body is so is innate that left to its own devices (without fear and limiting beliefs), over time your body would remember and return to its state of perfect health (oneness). Your body is “programmed” for perfect health.

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Unfortunately when a belief or way of living is considered normal, it becomes so ingrained we often do not realize there is another way. If you lived your entire life in a box, you do not realize you are in a box because you can view the box from outside and see it for what it is. You just see what you always see and you consider that the way life is. A cultural norm is the same thing except it includes many people instead of just one. Cultural norms create blind spots, but like with driving a car, just because you cannot see something does not mean it is not “there.”

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One of the biggest challenges in creating loving relationships is the belief in lack. Looking at the world through lack tainted glasses, love is a limited resource. Believing in lack means doing whatever you feel you need to do to find a partner and keep them in your life because you want to love and be loved. Yet, for most people, having a partner does not mean having the love you need. If you do not truly and completely love yourself, you will feel a sense of self lack, which will manifest in fear of not having love. Therefore along with the relationship will be fear of not having it; of losing it. Relating from duality consciousness, love and lack often go hand in hand.

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Experiencing the field as energy removes the personification baggage so you can feel it working with you, for you and always supporting you. The field is love, not in the personified baggage way, but as energy offering a constant stream of love everywhere all the time. The field acts as a reflection of your intent to help you manifest it or to change it if what you think you want is clouded by limiting beliefs and would not bring you the fulfillment you seek. It is the perfect parent, best friend and love of your life, without the personification of baggage. Its intent is totally clear of personal goals because it is impersonal. It is you as your infinite self.

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In order to receive, you have to open. The openness associated with receiving is the same openness associated with letting go. Think about your hands, if they are clenched in fists, you can neither release nor receive. But when you open your hands you can release whatever you are holding onto as well as outstretch your hands to receive whatever comes next. Releasing and receiving are the same process.

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I believe that everything and everyone is spiritual because it is all part of the larger picture of life. Even if a person does not consider themself spiritual, they are still part of the larger picture of life that is larger than just their individual self. Belief is not what makes someone spiritual; existence is what makes someone spiritual. Nobody is more spiritual than anyone else; we all exist to the same extent. A person on a conscious spiritual path is aware of the innate spirituality of existence and is consciously choosing to live in accordance with it. This does not make them any more or less spiritual than anyone else; it just means they choose to be aware of the spiritual nature of life and to intentionally align with it.

I have been thinking a lot about the power of dance and of eye contact. A few years ago I had an experience with dance and eye contact that was very healing for me. It happened at Dance Camp at the Sultry Café.

Dance Camp is a gathering of several hundred dancers from all around the world, united by a love of dance. During the day there are workshops. In the evening there are dances, some with a theme. The Sultry Café is a themed dance. It is about exploring the sensual and sexual aspects of movement in an environment that is based on self awareness and taking responsibility for your actions. Participants are educated in self awareness and communication skills, and there are guidelines for appropriate behavior. This creates a foundation of consciousness around sexuality, making the dance a safe space for exploration and stepping out of your comfort zone, if you wish.

I have been to Dance Camp, and the Sultry Café, twice. The first time I went to the Sultry Café, I was surprised at how comfortable I felt. It was the only event at Dance Camp where I felt like I was totally at home, in my element. That was a very eye opening awareness for me. The second year, I had two goals in mind, two ways I wanted to challenge myself. The first goal was to dance as closely to my partners as possible. I often keep a lot of physical distance with my dance partners. I love physical closeness and intimacy, the closer the better, but I am concerned with coming across as too intimate and having to deal with misunderstandings or hurt feelings (theirs and mine).

My second goal had to do with my discomfort with people watching me dance. The Sultry Café was set up with a bench for people who wanted to watch the dancing. It was labeled with a sign that said “voyeurs.” Anyone who wanted to dance for an audience could dance in front of the bench. I waited a while until I noticed a group of women sitting together on the bench. I figured it would be less intimidating for me to dance for women (I am not attracted to women so it felt safer) so I decided to take the opportunity. Unfortunately they all diverted their eyes; they were uncomfortable. I decided to wait a while and try again with someone else.

My opportunity came when I noticed a man sitting alone on the bench. I asked him if I could dance for him. He looked surprised and said “yes.” Near the end of the bench where he was sitting, there was a veil stapled to the wall, part of the decorations. I danced inside the veil while he watched. He seemed to enjoy the dance. He was leaning into it and his breathing had changed. He asked if he could touch me. I said “no,” but I did keep dancing. I felt a mix of power and discomfort. The song seemed to go on forever. When it was over, I confided in him that it was not easy for me to dance with someone watching and I thanked him for the opportunity to dance for him. Then I left the bench area and went on to dance with other people. One of the things I like about the Sultry Café is, because it is designed for exploration, I felt like I could try new things without any misunderstandings or expectations for afterwards. That gave me a much needed sense of freedom. I had a great time dancing with a lot of body and eye contact. I was very present with my dance partners. I felt open, accepting and loving. Some of my dances were very sweet, some were really sensual and a few were extremely wild. When I left the safe container of the Sultry Café, I felt satiated and content.

Several days passed. Still at Dance Camp, I was in a workshop. The man I danced for at the Sultry Café was also in the workshop. He seemed excited to see me, and came up to me to say hello before the workshop started. He told me how much he had enjoyed my dance. I felt uncomfortable. The Sultry Café felt safe for me to open up, but now that I was not in that environment, I did not feel as open. I told him I was feeling uncomfortable talking about it, and I tried to leave the conversation but he kept talking as if he had not heard me. It took me several times of telling him I was uncomfortable and needed to not talk about the dance before I got the message across. The workshop began and I kept a distance from him. He seemed “creepy.”

At the end of the workshop was an activity where each person spent a few minutes making eye contact with every other person. I found myself in front of the man from the Sultry Café. My first instinct was to walk away, but something in me felt like it was important to do the activity with him. We looked into each other’s eyes and what I saw changed me forever. I saw a beautiful person who, just like me, wanted to be accepted and loved. I no longer saw him as creepy. The feelings of discomfort were replaced by feelings of love. Several times after the workshop when we saw each other we stopped and enjoyed the eye contact and loving feelings.

Years later I still feel wonderful when I think about the experience. It continues to inspire me to look beyond surface appearances, behaviors and assumptions and relate from the purity of heart I felt that day. I am also aware of my desire for sexuality to be a “force” of healing and unity, rather than separation and destruction. I continue to deepen my embodiment of both these ways of being, as they are central to my personal path and life’s work. In this way, the experience I had at the Sultry Café and the days of Dance Camp that followed continues to unfold, building loving community each time I use my courage to see from love and acceptance.

More on this topic soon.

Linda http://www.lindawhitedove.com

Copyright 2008 Linda White Dove

This post is an invitation to introduce yourself, offer complements about me or my writing (always appreciated!), make suggestions for future articles, or ask questions that are on topic to this blog but have not been covered already. If there is a situation in your personal life for which you would like insight, you can post it here. 

As you have probably noticed from my posts, my approach to addressing life’s challenges is based on sensate awareness. Additionally, I am able to use my own awareness to sense the structural nature of your mental process to understand what is behind the beliefs and thoughts you have, as well as what may be helpful for your path of personal growth.  My mental process is, in many ways, fluid and flexible, allowing me to perceive without a lot of conditioning, bias or attachment.

So…if you want an opinion about a topic, this is not the best place to ask, unless you want my response to be a somatic activity for finding your own answers or some questions to help you view your own perceptions in a different way. If you post a personal question, please keep it brief (no more than a few paragraphs). I do need some information because I feel/sense your thought processes as I read, however too much information is often painful for me, making it impossible for me to read and respond.  

Also, regarding responses, I make no guarantee that I will respond to each and every question. I will do my best as time permits. Whatever answers I offer are just my perspective, take what works for you and disregard the rest. My intent is to facilitate empowerment. When it comes to your life, you are the expert.

 I look forward to your questions, messages and feedback.

Warmly,

Linda

Attunement is the process of connecting with your own innate ability to heal. You are a very powerful, infinite being with all the inner resources you will ever need for healing of body, mind and spirit. This attunement contains an energy transmission to help you connect with the part of yourself that eases cravings for cigarettes.

To use the attunement, right now, all you have to do is relax, close your eyes and affirm that you intend to receive the attunement in accordance with your highest good. Then just allow a few minutes for the attunement to unfold and integrate. All you need to experience this attunement is intent. These written words are merely information and instructions. When you intend to attune, your intent is assisted by mine and the attunement takes place. Nothing more is needed so please do not ask me to send you the attunement, everything you need is inside of you and supported by the words on this page you are currently reading.  

This attunement (my assistance in helping you tune in) will be active for one week from the date you first use it. During this time you can use this attunement whenever you wish, as many times as you wish. It will work either viewed on the computer or printed. You can make as many copies as you wish, however it will work for only one week per person. Any attempts to alter the way the document is worded will render the attunement inoperable. Please feel free to contact me with any questions on how to use this attunement. Feedback is welcomed.

I hope you enjoy this free sample and find it useful. I have received much positive feedback from people who have used it to stop smoking. A three month version of this attunement is available for $65. To purchase, please contact me at somaticdakini@gmail.com

Thank you for the opportunity to share this attunement with you.

Linda White Dove

Copyright 2002 Linda White Dove

http://www.lindawhitedove.com

In my last post, I wrote about allowing your internal movement of energy to guide your external movement and how to use it for healing. In this post I write about how I have used external movement, specifically dancing, to develop inner awareness and how I am using it for healing from childhood abuse. Although this is my personal story, written in part for my own healing catharsis, I hope it will also raise awareness of the impact of childhood abuse and the potential of movement for healing.

I will begin with some information about my childhood. I have memories of being abused as an infant. Although I cannot be certain the memories are accurate, I believe they probably are true. There is an often told story in my family about how as a young kid if anyone other than my mom even looked at me, I would scream, cry and hide. Even now as an adult I have many “reflexive” instinctual responses typical of people who were abused at a very young age. Interestingly, I did not connect these responses to the physical abuse until writing this article.

Whatever physical abuse might have happened ended in my first few years of life, to be replaced by a childhood full of emotional abuse. The name calling, bullying and intimidation were constant and awful. My dad was physically violent with our neighbors (he initiated it), resulting in visits from the police, as well as some other things which I will not mention here out of respect for my family. However, of all the things I witnessed and experienced, being publicly humiliated was the worst. My dad knew how to draw a crowd and use it to get what he wanted. He did this often.

Growing up with the abuse was very difficult and painful. Nothing I ever did was good enough; even my personality was not good enough. I never lost sight of who I was, but I learned it was not safe to express it. I kept much of my inner self private. I shut my dad out of my life, eventually moving halfway across the country to finally have some peace. Feeling safe to be myself and express myself has been a big issue for me.

In my 20s I became involved in the human potential movement and learned how to facilitate encounter groups. From the leadership role of group facilitation, I learned what it was like to feel confident. I got in touch with my extroversion. I facilitated a lot of groups, including many on giving and receiving nurturing touch, one of my favorite topics for groups. I did a lot of inner work. My life totally changed. I thought I had worked through the abuse and put it all behind me. It was not until I moved to Massachusetts many years later that my past came back into my awareness for more healing. Dancing has been a big part of both the awareness and the healing.

Dance, because it is tactile, non-verbal, and often involves a lot of physical closeness can bring up a lot of baggage. It has been a relentless and challenging teacher and mirror.  Although this can be very painful, it is also valuable and it is one of the reasons I dance. I dance as part of a large group that rents a dance studio and gets together regularly because we love to dance. When I first started attending the dances, I tried to get my body to move, but it was like I was frozen. I had not danced much before, and I had to learn to quiet my mind enough so my body could express. Whatever movement came through ended immediately if I noticed anybody watching me. I stood in a back corner and kept to myself.

Around this same time, I started attending another similar dance group that practiced a form called contact improvisation. I had seen this form of dance before but had not tried it. Everyone was very friendly, offering techniques and involving me in their dances. At one point everyone formed a chain, lying on their backs they passed people one at a time over all the bodies, using their hands and feet. Intense fear overcame me. I did not participate.

Dancing has brought to my attention many deeply held fears around physical trust. Through dancing I have often noticed that if someone I do not know very well tries to move in too close to me I instinctively pull away. This is especially pronounced with men. Even in my romantic relationships, I go through an initial period of this before I get comfortable and the reflex disappears. With contact improvisation, my dance partners sometimes try to lift me and I go into automatic fight or flight mode (pun intended- being lifted is often referred to as flying). Unless I know and trust the person, fight usually wins out over flight.

It took me quite a while to become comfortable enough to dance contact improvisation at all, with anyone. After the first time I went to the contact improvisation group, I went back a second time, only to leave after a few minutes. It took me about a year to be ready to try again and then the flashbacks began. I remember one time I was dancing with someone, I was seated on the floor and he was doing a cartwheel. He was a skilled dancer and was far enough away from me that his feet could not hit me while he was upside down, yet I flinched and pulled away. He must have noticed because he asked me if I was okay. What he did not know is that I had a past life flashback. I was a woman sitting on the floor of my kitchen while my husband stood over me, kicking me as I tried to defend myself. For months the flashbacks continued when I danced contact improvisation. Eventually I worked it out and the flashbacks ceased.

With the flashbacks gone, dancing became easier…a little. I was still very self conscious. Dancing alone was challenging, I still froze whenever I saw anybody looking at me. Dancing with a partner (or partners) was even more difficult because instead of them being across the room at a distance, they were close up; aware of every time I was clumsy or unsure of myself. I was really hard on myself. Every dance was like a form of self abuse, trying to measure up to some standard, rather than just enjoying the moment. It took me a long time to realize that it was the need to live up to a standard that was getting in the way of the dancing, rather than the other way around. Sometimes I still forget this.

Making eye contact while dancing helped me to become more comfortable dancing with others. At first I chose people who felt safe: close friends and gay men. Looking in their eyes, I could see and feel the person I was dancing with, rather than going round and round in my own mind judging myself. I noticed that everyone had their own baggage, but I was okay with it because it made them real to me. Like me, they had their issues but were able to dance anyway, and even be present to the fear, joy, love and whatever else came up. This was when I really started to get the healing potential of dancing. I was able to see everyone as works in progress, all learning together in their own ways. I saw buttons get pushed between people and I saw closeness and ease. Everything became framed in loving compassion. When I get too caught up in being hard on myself, I try to reframe it in this larger context. I find it helpful to know that like everyone else, I am learning.

Although reframing things in the larger context helped me be more comfortable dancing with my friends, I was still uncomfortable when I noticed anyone in the room watching me dance. I felt angry too, and did not know why. Eventually I realized the discomfort came from feeling like I was being evaluated and did not measure up. The constant feeling from my childhood of not being good enough left me feeling defensive. Every time I see someone watching me dance, I feel the need to protect myself and I go into defensive mode with a glaring look, turning angrily away so I can have privacy with my feelings of discomfort, or just pretending they are not there.

Being watched from a distance feels unequal and one sided. I feel vulnerable while the person or people watching seem inaccessible. Like with my father, approval was always somewhere off in the distance, impossible to obtain. It was a one way street, I was vulnerable but he was not. The sense of powerlessness from the inequality led to my feeling angry. Dancing helped me to realize that most likely people were not keeping a distance because they were judging me like my dad in my childhood. It was my anger and defensiveness (resulting from fear) that kept people away. If someone acted towards me like I acted towards many of the people who keep a distance, I would probably distance myself from them too. My fear brought out the fear in others. I needed to see and feel the message over and over and over again for years before I got it, but when I did, it was a big help for me.

Dance was very challenging emotionally for me at first. Being in a group of people I did not know, feeling unsafe and excluded, trying to express myself in a medium that felt foreign while working through all kinds of abuse, trust and intimacy stuff, has been quite an experience for me. Yet despite everything I have been through, I would not trade any of it for anything. I have a much stronger sense of community and close friends to dance with. I am learning to love myself and others unconditionally. Tactile expression and intimacy (once I trust) are strengths for me. Developing them further through dance has resulted in many beautiful, deep and transcendent dance experiences. I call this “dance magic” and I love it!

Dance has become a source of joy, expression and empowerment. I still get triggered around things from my past sometimes, but thanks to the awareness and healing from dancing, I am moving through it all very quickly now. I am grateful for all my experiences. I have learned to use all of it, even the discomfort at being watched, as an assist in my healing process. I look forward to whatever unfolds, while enjoying the pleasure and peace of being present in the moment-um of movement.

Linda White Dove

copyright 2008 Linda White Dove

http://www.lindawhitedove.com

Note: This post contains information and activities for working with energy awareness and motion. It builds upon the information presented in the post “More Energy Awareness.”

As you noticed when you learned to tune into the energy of your mental, emotional and physical bodies, energy is in a constant state of activity; it is always in motion. The world around us is created by activity, by motion. Motion can take the form of obvious and external, for example walking. Motion can take the form of subtle and internal, as with the flow of energy inside your mental, emotional and physical bodies. Both forms of energy activity are ways of taking action in the world. And because internal motion is necessary for external motion, understanding how to sense and work with it is the foundation for external motion/action.

The impact of working with internal motion for external change (in your life and in the world as a form of activism) has been vastly underrated, in part because it has not been fully understood. I cover this topic in detail in my upcoming book. However, I would like to write a bit about it here and especially offer a few ways you can work with it for enhancing your life.

The best way to become aware of how the inner motion supports the outer motion is to have the outer motion while also being aware of the inner process. You can set aside some time to for exploration by choosing one or two simple subtle movements of your choice and doing them slowly, for example making a fist and then opening your hand, while being aware of the underlying flow of energy. Or you can choose to do an everyday activity (such as chewing your breakfast, or walking down the street) while also sensing the inner motion.

If you do this often enough, you will notice a whole new world, filled with activity and potential. This is the inner landscape of your external life and the uses for it are endless. As a child I was fascinated by adventure books like “The Phantom Tollbooth,” or “The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe,” in which there was a secret entrance to some magical world of wonder. It wasn’t until I was much older that I realized the magical worlds of wonder actually existed and the entrance was in the movement of my body. It was an even bigger delight when I realized it could all be put to practical everyday use.

One of my favorite ways to explore is to allow my inner motion to lead my external movement. My body, mind, and emotions all know what I need for maximum health and fulfillment. By tuning into the inner movement of each in their optimal state of wellness and allowing it to express via external motion I am moving my way into a better life. This can be done in quiet, or with music. If you work with music, I recommend experimenting with as much variety and diversity of music as possible to find the ones that best fit your inner movement.

Once you feel comfortable with your ability to let your inner movement guide your outer movement, you can work with it in many ways. Here are a few suggestions:

Movement can be used for healing headaches, stomachaches, detoxing/cleansing, and many other physical challenges. Tune into the inner movement of your headache (or whatever you wish to address) as if it has already been resolved, and use the basic technique for allowing inner movement to guide external movement.

Movement can be used for problem solving, addressing emotional baggage, resolving limiting beliefs or most any other mental or emotional challenge. Set aside some time for exploration, call upon the inner movement of how it feels to have already resolved the challenge, and allow it to guide your external movement, dancing your way into completion.

Movement can be used to manifest desired outcomes. Sense the movement inside of you as if the outcome has already happened, and allow your external movement to match the inner movement, bringing your desired outcome it into creation.

These are just a few ways to work with internal motion for external change. I hope you find them to be helpful and enjoyable. I especially hope they encourage you to explore and find new ways to work with motion. For although the activities are good because of the results they can offer, the best part of it is how it helps you tap into the power of your creative process. As with the adventure books I enjoyed reading as a child, the magical world of wonder awaits and it is in your everyday life. You are the magician.

Linda White Dove

copyright 2008 Linda White Dove

http://www.lindawhitedove.com

I was recently at a comedy performance that included a remark about Tourette Syndrome. It brought up a lot of painful feelings along with the desire to write about my experiences. I hope that by writing about my experiences with Tourette Syndrome (TS), I can offer some understanding about what it is like to live with it and therefore personalize it such that it seems more real and understandable, rather than just an odd assortment of movements and vocalizations. It is easy to notice the movements and vocalizations and find the humor in it; even I can understand how it may seem funny. Many of the people in the audience at the performance laughed at the comment about TS. I laughed at a comment about narcolepsy from another performer. When something seems far enough removed it can be funny just looking at the surface behavior. However, when understood through the vantage point of personal experience it is not always as funny.

I have no desire to be the political correctness police. I do not feel like I am in the position to judge anybody. However, at least in regards to TS I have something to offer from personal experience that I hope will add to your understanding, offering the opportunity for a more holistic response in the future. The more we can see beyond the behaviors of TS to remember the human factor, the more we will understand that we are all connected and all impacted by how we respond to the health and other concerns that challenge us. I also realized based on how I responded to the performance that I still carry around a lot of emotional “charge” regarding my experiences with TS and I hope that by writing this article I can experience deeper emotional healing and peace.

While there are benefits of sharing my story, I am also hesitant for several reasons. First, as someone with noticeable involuntary body movements (also known as motor tics but I prefer the term body movements), I have spent my life standing out from everyone else. Everywhere I go people look or stare at me (or try not to) and the last thing I want to do is bring more attention to my body movements. Second, I have shared many of the painful memories with friends, family, therapists and so many specialists that I do not always see the benefits to sharing it all again; I want to focus on the good in my life, rather than continually rehash all the pain I have been through. Third, after all that I have been through, I am not always trusting when it comes to sharing things that make me feel vulnerable and open to being made fun of even more. I know that you are all adults reading this but painful experiences have left their mark and I still have fear of getting hurt if I open myself up too much. Yet because I know the benefits of sharing my story, I will do it again hoping it will do some good.

My first experiences with TS began when I was six years old (I was not diagnosed until I was 13 so there were many years of movements with no understanding of why). I had just started kindergarten and I would blink my eyes a lot. My teacher noticed it and mentioned it to my parents who also had noticed it at home. Since the adjustment to school is often difficult for kids, it was assumed that I was having adjustment difficulties. However, after I had been in school for some time and the blinking continued, my parents started what would be years of trying to figure out what was wrong with me. I am not sure if they would word it as “what was wrong,” but as a kid that was how I felt.

I saw what seemed like an endless number of professionals starting with the more conventional options like my pediatrician, to the child therapist and even a hypnotist. None of them had any answers. I remember my sessions with the child therapist because he always had me make dolls out of toilet paper rolls, despite the fact that it was an activity for much younger kids. I hated those sessions. The therapist told my parents I was childish, and I sarcastically thought it was because all we did was make dolls out of toilet paper rolls. I was glad when the therapist blamed my movements on my parents and they angrily stopped my sessions with him. I also remember the hypnotist who had me focus on not moving my left hand while later pointing out that the entire time I was focusing on not moving my left hand, I had not been thinking at all about my right hand and it had remained still. I felt angry and tricked and was not sure how that was of any help for me at all. If I could stop the movements I certainly would. My life was a living hell.

Kids, as you know, can be really cruel to each other and I was often the target of cruelty, both physical and emotional. After my dad saw me being beat up by kids in the neighborhood he taught me how to fight. I was good at it and after that at least nobody tried to fist fight with me (this was in the days before guns and knives). While I do not advocate violence as a way to deal with violence, it ended up being helpful for me back then. The physical attacks stopped but the emotional attacks continued. Emotional pain was a constant in my life every time I left my home (and in my home too but I will get to that later) yet a few experiences in particular stand out as especially painful and I will share them here.

I was in sixth grade and the two six grade classes in school were putting on a play together. Everyone was required to audition for the play. The last thing I wanted was to be up on stage with everyone watching my movements. I decided that since I had to audition, I would audition for the smallest part in the play, which is what I did. Unfortunately I was a good student with a gift for memorization and I memorized those few lines so well that I was considered the best person for the lead role and that was the role I was given. I had learned from experience that when I was under stress my movements increased. I knew having the lead role in the play was not a good thing for me and I begged my teacher to let me have a smaller part but she did not listen. Needless to say a week or so before the play my movements had increased so much that the teachers were concerned about how I would come across on stage and they took away my lead role and made me take the role I had tried out for in the first place. Everyone wanted to know why I changed roles and I had the humiliating experience of having to explain, and of knowing that the decision was based on my appearance.

I should also add that the movements, when repeated over time lead to internal injury, repetitive strain and physical pain. There are as many movements as there are ways that the body can move. If it can move, it can be part of a TS movement. Sometimes there is only one movement, other times more than one. The intensity also varies along with which body parts are affected and how long it will stay with any particular body part. The blinking of my eyes left me feeling disoriented and nauseated from the disorientation. The movements of my neck and head gave me painful headaches that lasted for days and even sometimes weeks. I had so many migraines that I spent much of my school days throwing up from the nausea. I have a picture of one time that I stayed in class during recess because I had thrown up. My mom had the picture because she thought it was cute and did not realize that I was sick when it was taken. I guess I spent so much time with headaches that it was hard to realize that the pained and pale look I had was not my natural look.

In addition to the physical pain already mentioned, the movements in my feet made it painful to walk, and all the movements over time were part of the reason I had severe back pain episodes that left me unable to move without agonizing pain. These episodes would last for weeks. It was because of the pain that I tried and became familiar with many alternative healing approaches such as massage, chiropractic, yoga, cranial sacral therapy and my favorite, orthobionomy, which I highly recommend for anyone suffering from severe chronic pain. I have many memories from all these approaches but one in particular stands out from a massage session. I remember the massage therapist telling me that my neck muscles were so strained that she was not sure how I was able to hold my head up. This happened when I was in my 20s so imagine what 20 plus more years has done to my body and you have an idea what it is like to live with the pain from TS. I experience some degree of pain and/or discomfort all the time. I also have damaged my inner ear and also my eyes as a result of the continual movements of my head, neck and jaw. Flexibility is a challenge for me.

Going back to some of the emotionally painful experiences from my childhood, the most difficult one by far happened when I was in eighth grade. It was lunch time and as I walked into the school cafeteria every single kid in the cafeteria mimicked my movements. I felt totally alone and trapped. There was nowhere I could go to be alone and to make it stop and it seemed to go on and on forever. I will never forget it. I am not sure why none of the adults in the cafeteria stepped in to do anything, but then again my sixth grade teacher did not help me either when I asked not to have the lead role in the play. The adults who supervised activities during recess were not very helpful either. Every school had their pecking order among the kids and I was the one at the bottom, at least until there was a new girl who did not talk much other than to shriek and hit people with her purse. I know this sounds mean, and it is, but I was grateful for her.

I was a very good student with excellent grades. The Junior High School (or Middle School as it is called in New England) grouped kids based on academic performance. Each group of kids took all their classes together and became a somewhat cohesive group. Although my grades were excellent and I should have been grouped accordingly, the school administrators and my parents still thought my movements might be related to adjustment problems and so rather than risk my having adjustment problems in the group of kids who were at the same academic level as I was, I was placed in a different group of kids, only to be moved later when it was determined that I was not being challenged and that I had the movements anyway. Joining an already cohesive group was difficult for me emotionally, made even more so because I had told my parents that my movements were not related to adjustment problems and because the kids in both groups already knew why I had been “held back.”

Nor were things any easier at home. My parents wanted me to be “normal,” so that things would be easier for me. While I now understand the reasons behind their actions, much of what I went through at home was very painful for me at the time. When my parents gave up on all the doctors, psychologists, etc. they were replaced by what my parents called “exercises” but were actually periods in which I was supposed to stop the movements and be still. I think this idea might have come from my experience with the hypnotist. Regardless, one of the things about TS movements is that they can be held back for a short period of time but they will always need to be expressed eventually. The only time I do not have movements is when I am asleep, in deep meditation or when I am absorbed in whatever I am doing. It is an odd irony that I have involuntary body movements yet I can be so into doing a healing session for someone else that the movements cease, or that I have odd looking facial movements that I know are a physical turn off for some potential lovers yet I can kiss for hours with no problems. I definitely have a strong sense of humor and irony and I know that TS has played a part in it.

Anyway, of all my painful memories, having to do the exercises was one of the more traumatic. I think it was because it reminded me that there was nowhere in my life where I was not under scrutiny, where I could just be okay the way that I was. I knew I had no control over my movements and it hurt me that even my own parents did not listen to me when I told them that. After a while I refused to do the exercises and my parents gave up. I understand now the pain my parents must have felt and their desire for me to have a happy and healthy life, which was the reason behind the exercises. I try to keep in mind that TS impacted my family as much as it did me, just in a different way. This has helped me to be more forgiving.

I also understand the reactions many people have towards someone who looks or acts different. We all want to fit in, yet we want to be unique individuals too, just not too unique. As kids we learn about ourselves from our attempts to be part of the group. I am not sure there are any kids who feel free from the fear of being judged and excluded, which is probably why kids often act in the hurtful ways that they do. As someone who has been on the receiving end of a lot of hurtful acts, I have learned a lot about human nature by observing people’s responses to me and my responses to their responses. In many ways adults are just as insecure as kids, they just respond differently, less overtly, yet adults face the same dynamic of trying to fit in and have the same fears about not belonging. To belong is to give and receive love and to feel connected to others. Sometimes I wonder if I am some kind of mirror that via my movements I can see the best and the worst in human nature. If so, I want my goal and my process to be one of compassion. 

At age 13 my aunt saw a public service announcement about TS on television. She thought that the movements looked a lot like mine and she told my parents. A visit to the neurologist confirmed that I had TS. I have what is considered a mild case and I have no involuntary vocalizations (also known as vocal tics). It is considered unusual to have TS with no vocalizations. A lot of kids with TS have other learning challenges, which I was also fortunate to not have.

There are several forms of treatment for TS, the most common one being medication. I tried several different medications which I ruled out for various reasons. One medication made me so sensitive to sunlight that I was supposed to limit my outdoor time to 20 minutes a day, another medication made me urinate constantly. I ended up taking Haldol. Haldol is often prescribed for psychotic people to control hallucinations. However while they may take hundreds of milligrams daily, I took less than three milligrams and it worked quite well for me. It reduced the movements about 80 percent, allowing me to live a very normal looking life. Most people barely noticed the movements and would probably not have known about my TS unless I told them. I took Haldol for 20 years and stopped only because I wanted to have a child and Haldol is toxic to the developing fetus.

I ended up not having children but by then I had also developed an interest in energy medicine and as my studies and embodiment of energy medicine continued, I realized that taking a chemical into my body, especially one as toxic as Haldol, was no longer an option. I was fortunate the first time to stop taking it and after 20 years not have any permanent side effects. It is almost unheard of. I did not want to take the risk of trying again.

My search for a permanent cure continues. A few years ago I met someone who uses bio feedback with excellent results. However he uses it as a form of treatment, not as a cure. My work has me very curious about the causal level of health challenges and I am much more interested in something that resolves not only the symptoms but also the cause so that symptom management is not necessary. I truly believe I will find the healing that I am seeking and that energy medicine holds a lot of promise for me. I am also interested in neurofeedback and intend to have some sessions as soon as I am able. In the meantime I continue to learn from my experiences with TS. I have learned a lot from my emotions and thoughts about myself and others and I have also learned a lot about healing and pain relief. I have learned a lot about compassion towards others and myself, although I am still learning and often feel like I have a long way to go.  From TS I have developed a sense of humor and an appreciation of the contradictions in life. I know what it is like to long for physical comfort and not find it anywhere. Being at home in my body has been a lifelong challenge, but perhaps it is part of my interest in embodied spirituality especially in the sensations of pleasure as a spiritual path.

I enjoy the fact that I can feel pleasure along with the pain, that I can feel fluidity in the tightness and promise in what many people would consider incurable. Although the responses of other people towards my movements and towards TS in general is often emotionally painful for me, it has also taught me that people do a lot of things from fear and/or lack of information and that as a result I can be less attached to their responses and can even feel the loving person underneath it all. I can also serve as a reminder that whatever presents itself on the surface is nothing compared to what we make of it. The depth and breadth of the human spirit is amazing and life is good.

I wish to thank the comedian for the comment about Tourette Syndrome as it provided me this opportunity for healing and for sharing this article with you. I also appreciate his sensitivity, integrity, honesty and openness when I talked with him about how I felt. I hope that he and everyone else who reads this article will find it helpful.

With love and compassion,

Linda White Dove

http://www.lindawhitedove.com

This attunement is for experiencing pleasure in each of your chakras. Your chakras are energy centers that correspond with your body, emotions, mind and spirit. By experiencing pleasure in your chakras, you bring more pleasure to your life. However, while the primary focus of this attunement is for enjoyment, the opening of your physical, emotional and mental bodies to pleasure often has a clearing, healing and awakening effect.

This Chakra Pleasure Attunement will work with any and all of your major and minor chakras. I recommend starting with your major chakras and working with all of them in one session beginning with the root/base chakra and working your way up. Then if you wish to work with any of your minor chakras you can do that as part of the same or a separate session. If you need a list of major and minor chakras you will find many internet sites, books and other reference material containing that information.

The purpose of my attunements is to help you tune in and become more in-tune with yourself. When you attune using this attunement, you are becoming more aware of the pleasure in each of your chakras. This is not intended as a healing modality, but rather as self exploration, empowerment and life enrichment. I offer no course materials or certificates, only a way to journey into yourself and bring more of yourself into your everyday life.

Although it is common to attribute the attunement to someone or something outside of yourself, what I offer through my attunements is an understanding that everything you wish to attune yourself to is already present inside of you. When you follow the written instructions in this attunement, I am working with you to help you tune into and experience your pleasure as it already exists inside of you. I am not adding anything to you, I am simply helping you to focus your awareness. However, if while working with any or all of your chakras, you would like to add my pleasure energy to yours, all you have to do is intend to experience it and it will be present.

To Attune: relax and close your eyes. Starting with your root chakra, intend to experience the pleasure that is there. Then just go with the experience. When the sensation subsides or moves to the next chakra, it is time to intend to experience the pleasure that is there. All you need to experience this attunement is intent. These written words are merely information and instructions. When you intend to attune, your intent is assisted by mine and the attunement takes place. Nothing more is needed so please do not ask me to send you the attunement, everything you need is inside of you and supported by the words on this page you are currently reading.

This attunement will work one time for each chakra. After that if you choose to attune, you will still be able to do so because tuning in is a natural process. However, after the first time you attune each chakra, my assistance in attuning, and the addition of my pleasure energy will no longer be available. If you wish to continue with my support, I offer the Sexual Healing E Mail Attunement for purchase on my website http://www.lindawhitedove.com 

Thank you for the opportunity to share this attunement with you.

Linda White Dove

Copyright 2007 Linda White Dove